


Fox in The Snow

by buttsbeyondbutts



Series: Remember When Everyone Wrote Songfics? Oh man... [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Asexual Clint Barton, Asexual Natasha Romanov, Belle and Sebastian - Freeform, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Guilt, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Memory Issues, PTSD, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 11:02:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3607689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttsbeyondbutts/pseuds/buttsbeyondbutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snow falls as Steve Rogers returns to Brooklyn</p><p>An Avengers Songfic of "Fox in The Snow"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fox in The Snow

_Fox in the snow,_

_Where do you go to find something you could eat?_

_Because the word out on the street is_

_you are starving._

The problem wasn’t that there was no news of Bucky. There was too much. Steve would’ve liked to beat the living shit out of the reporter that broke the story. Most likely they accidentally made up the truth but he’d like to hit something anyway.

_Bucky Barnes Betrayal!!! Crushed Cap Confirms!!! _ The Headlines screamed from the snow covered bodega. Steve didn’t recall talking to anyone about Bucky outside of SHIELD, much less The Daily Bugle. Sam advised against sending Steve’s harshly worded letter about respect for privacy and journalistic integrity, saying they’d just publish that instead and sell even more copies. Instead, Steve just bought a copy and went on his way.

The article was worse than trash. Steve considered purchasing a dog just so it could use the rag as a bathroom. The Winter Soldier wasn’t stupid enough to go to the Smithsonian Captain America exhibit in broad daylight where any asshole reported might recognize him. Bucky had only been in a museum once when he was himself. When they were fourteen, he and Steve snuck into see the dinosaur bones because the nuns said it was an affront to God. Bucky liked affronts to God. He kissed Steve in the crowd beneath the T-Rex.

_While some claim Barnes, AKA The Winter Soldier, has gone to ground to avoid answering for numerous war crimes, others believe he remains in the states. Sightings in D.C and New York City, particularly Brooklyn, have been reported but without photographic evidence such claims remain conjecture._

__

Steve stepped up to the Amtrack ticket counter. “One for New York, please.”

She glanced up briefly and smiled but didn’t recognize him. Steve Rogers wasn’t exactly an uncommon name, besides that it said Steven Grant Rogers on all his cards. She handed him the ticket and he left without remembering to thank her.

The Bugle went on to offer a reward for any photographs of Barnes since the attack on DC. Steve would have liked to reward them with a knuckle sandwich but… he want to see Bucky too. Even just a picture after six months of searching would confirm he was still alive, hadn’t been decommissioned or some other terrible euphemism by the remains of HYDRA or SHIELD. New York and DC were currently sitting under about a foot of snow and whatever Steve knew about Bucky’s new biology or the awful conditions he’d endured before and during HYDRA did nothing to alleviate his worry. Bucky, sure, Bucky could survive anything-

__

_except a two hundred foot fall from a moving train and you could have caught him- he was right there- whydidn’tyoucatchhim?!_

-but The Winter Soldier had been trained to be a weapon, not a person. The files Natasha gave them said Bucky was fed intravenously for the last seventy years. Steve didn’t even know if he remembered how to take care of himself now that Hydra was gone.

He sat down with a sigh, shoving The Bugle into his pack. The snow fell lightly outside the train windows, nothing to write home about if you knew what you were doing. Steve thought about Bucky, who didn’t know what he was doing or who he was, out there in that cold.  No, he was still Bucky, even if he didn’t know it. He’d take care of himself, at least until Steve found him again.

_Don’t let yourself go hungry now._

_Don’t let yourself go cold_

_Fox in the snow…_

__


	2. Girl In The Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ride from DC to New York is long.

_Girl in the snow_

_where do you go_

_to find someone who will do?_

_To tell someone all the truth before it kills you?_

Steve called just as the third pot of coffee started to perk. Clint faced away, messing around with the dishes, and couldn’t hear the tinny Battle Hymn of The Republic ringtone. He’d left his hearing aides by the bed when he noticed she was gone around one o’clock in the morning. He didn’t bother putting them back in after dragging her back to the farmhouse to tell her she couldn’t go to ground in the middle of a blizzard.

_“I’m Russian, I can do whatever I want,”_

__

_“Yeah, but you don’t actually want to do that, Natasha! You just think you have to!”_ He grumbled, wrapping his granddad’s heavy flannel coat around her shoulders and half fighting half guiding her back inside.

They talked through two pots of coffee, a stack of pancakes with burned bacon that reminded her of crackling flesh. She told him everything. Things that weren’t on any public record, things that could never be on any public record, that they- HYDRA or SHIELD or The Kremlin or The CIA or whoever wanted her in a body bag this week- would kill him for knowing. She told him the truth and Clint just listened, squinting at her lips and tilting his head to the side when her words went too fast or her accent slipped out. He didn’t say anything, other than to ask for clarification or repetition or if she needed another refill.

Natasha thought she might never speak again, that she’d used up her word quota for this lifetime but you didn’t leave Captain America hanging on the line.

“I’m in New Jersey,” he said, like a pigeon just shat on him. Clint turned as the laugh burst out of Natasha’s stomach, uncontrolled and unbidden. His lips quirked upwards and he turned back to the dishes.

“And you called me?”

_To Listen to your crazy laugh_

__

“I’m going back to Brooklyn,” Steve sounded exhausted, “Bucky might be there.”

Natasha sighed. “You saw that stupid Bugle article.”

“I haven’t got anything else to go on.” she could hear him shrug. “You busy? I could use the company.”

Natasha reached for her coffee mug, a chipped, powder blue monstrosity with the words “Bless This Home” in green calligraphy around the rim, only to find that it was empty. “Did you actually read the paper or did you just scan through for his name?”

“I- what did I miss?”

Natasha closed her eyes and smiled. “Nothing important. There’s a bunch of senators calling for my arrest, a couple of concerned citizens’ groups say I’m a war criminal. Nothing big.”

“Geez, Nat,” She knew what Steve looked like, knew he had, much to his chagrin, been named people magazine's sexiest man alive, but when he spoke, he sounded like The world's most befuddled grandpa. "Geez, i'm sorry."

Natasha shrugged. "Whatever. I knew what I was getting into." Clint refilled her mug. His head tilted but his face remained impassive. She couldn't tell if he could hear her. "New York isn't exactly the best place for me right now."

"You saved New York."

Natasha snorted. "More times than you can count, rogers, but I'm not a national treasure."

Clint frowned. Okay, so he could hear her. It didn't matter if he could hear her. "I'm going underground, Steve. Too many people want me dead."

Clint put the coffee pot down with a clatter, probably harder than he intended to.

"Nat, no-" Steve said but she cut him off.

"Relax, Steve, I've done this before," though never quite like this, without even the remnant of a safety net. "I'll keep an eye out for your friend."

"Natasha-"

"Bye, Steve," she hung up and turned off her phone. “What, Barton.”

Clint sat down, still frowning. “After all that, you’re still leaving?”

_before you hang a right_

_and disappear from sight._

“Nothing’s changed,” she muttered. “I appreciate your concern and… you were right, leaving last night was stupid.”

“Leaving in general is-”

“The only option for me right now.” Natasha growled. “I’m sorry but you’ve got to know I can’t stay here. My aliases are blown wide open, everyone knows what I’ve done and a lot of people want to kill me for it.”

_What do they know anyway?_

__

“Not everyone,” he said, “Most people know you were just doing your job-”

“Nuremberg Defense,”

“and you ultimately saved a lot of lives.” Clint finished. “They just don’t write articles about reasonable human beings.”

_You read it in a book_

__

She smirked. “You’re an optimist. Doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later someone who does was to kill me is going to track me down. When they do… you’re the last person I want caught in the cross hairs.”

_What do they know anyway?_

__

Clint sighed. “You’re tired. Wait another day. Leave tomorrow.”

“You’ve said that three days running.” Natasha said. Clint smiled weakly. He didn’t even try to argue. “Okay,” she said, “One more day.”

 

He handed her a muffin.

_You read it in a book tonight_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha POV chapter!
> 
> Oh, Natasha! You think you're so practical but then you go spiderman 2ing all over Clint's farm. Ridiculous. Have a muffin.


	3. Boy on The Bike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony hasn't been sleeping.

_Boy on a bike,_

_what are you like_

_as you cycle round the town?_

The last person Steve expected to hear from when he stepped of the Amtrack in Grand Central Station was Tony Stark.  He considered declining, and keep trying Natasha’s phone, but Iron Man didn’t call frivolously. At least he didn’t call Steve frivolously.

“I need you to come to the Tower,” a feminine voice ordered where most people would say hello.

“Miss Potts?” Steve said awkwardly. “What’s-”

“I need you to get here!” She snapped, “Bruce and Rhodey are out of town and he won’t listen to me and he threw a wrench at Happy and you’re in town so Get Here!”

“How did you know I was-”

“Tony stuck a tracking chip in your shield after that thing with Loki, why are you asking stupid questions?!” There was something disconcerting about the ever collected Pepper Potts sounding so frazzled.

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve said, wondering when Tony managed to get any time alone with his shield. “I’m on my way.”

“There’s a blue lexus outside the station,” Pepper said, “Happy will drive you faster than a cab.”

“Didn’t you say Tony threw a wrench at Happy?” Steve asked, stepping out into the wind. He saw the blue car immediately and felt a rush of pity for the chauffeur standing in front of it.

“He missed,” the husky man said cheerfully, as he pulled open the door to the lexus and invited Steve in. “It’s an honor to meet you, Captain Rogers!”

“Happy!” Pepper barked over the phone, “Drive!”

“Okay,” Steve said, as Happy sped away from the curve, much faster than was legal. “What’s Tony done now?”

“He hasn’t slept in a week,” Pepper said, voice breaking. “He won’t come out of the lab, won’t eat anything other than beef jerky and pills. He’s lost his damn mind.”

“Are you…” he hesitated but couldn’t think of anything better to say, “are you sure? Isn’t that kind of his style?”

In the rear view, Happy Hogan shook his head. “Not like this,” Pepper said, “This isn’t… the fire of discovery. It’s guilt. He’s trying to fix things. It’s Loki all over again.”

“Geez,” Steve said, “That’s- what can I do?”

“We’re here, Captain Rogers,” Happy said, stopping the car with a jolt. Pepper was waiting at the the curb.

“Talk to him,” she said. She’d left her coat inside. Her face was as red as her hair and she shivered when she spoke. Panicked, Steve and Happy ushered her inside away from the rising snow. “Get him to stop. Get him to sleep. He respects you-”

“He doesn’t-”

“He does. You’re on the short list of about ten people he actually trusts and respects, even if he’s awful at showing it.” Pepper sped across the lobby, dragging him into an elevator and swiping her key. “Believe me, you weren’t my first choice but Bruce went back to India, Rhodey’s on a mission and some idiot thinks Natalie- Natasha-” she corrected herself furiously, “is a war criminal not that I even have her number. The track chip was disabled in two hours. Barton won’t answer and I think Thor is from space or something. Fury’s dead-”

Steve sighed, “So I was literally your last choice.”

_You’re going up, you’re going down_

__

Pepper smiled like she was about to burst into tears. “Can you blame me? I know you two don’t exactly like each other…”

“That’s not-” wrong… “I have a lot of respect for Tony… and the things he’s done.”

“You don’t need to like him,” Pepper said, as the elevator doors dinged open. “Just help him.”

Steve had never been in Tony Stark’s lab. Tony was a man who liked to push buttons and Steve didn’t want to be around when he knew what the buttons did. He had expected it to be cleaner, with fewer empty bottles and cans. Predictable, yelling music with lots of drums and bass guitar blared through the speakers over the robot voice, Jarvis, imploring Tony to take some rest.

Tony himself crouched in the middle, bare chested and tinkering with some kind of gauntlet. He jumped when they entered but didn't look up. "Pepps, i promise, I just ate. See?" He gestured to a plate with an untouched burger and fries that had clearly been out for hours.

"Tony what happened to your shirt?" Pepper asked, glancing at Steve.

"Caught fire," Tony shrugged and Steve suddenly noticed the fresh burns on his arms and shoulders. "Dummie put it out."

_You’re going nowhere_

"Tony, Captain Rogers is here," Pepper said.

Steve cleared his throat and said "Uh hey, Stark,"

This time Tony did look up. Pepper had underplayed his condition. He had bruises and cuts all over his face. The once infuriatingly trim goatee had grown into a patchy beard with spats of gray between the black. Tony gave a little, shuddering sigh, the mirror image of his father when an invention fail. "Hey, Capsicle,"

They stood in silence, staring each other down except Tony fidgeted too much and wouldn't meet his eyes.

Finally, Steve said, "Pepper said you haven't been-"

"I heard about your friend," Tony interrupted. "Barnes... That whole..." He waved his fingers precariously, looking for the right word, "thing in DC. I'm sorry-"

"Thanks, I-" but Tony wasn't done.

"I should have been there," Tony said. He crossed the room purposefully, grabbing a blow torch on the opposite wall. "I should have been there. Romanov was there. Fury-" he took another deep breath and suddenly needed another power drill. The robots scurried after him, like they were worried too. “You fight off aliens with a guy and you’ve got his back then. It’s an implicit contract. I should have been there.”

“It’s okay.” Steve said, wishing Tony would say something flippant and inappropriate. Stark men weren’t meant to be frazzled or incoherent, least of all Iron Man.

_It’s not as if they’re paying you_

__

“It’s not okay!” he shouted, his all too thin body rocking with the effort. He squeezed his eyes closed and opened them wide again, displaying dozens of angry red lines in the whites of his eyes. “I can fix it though. I can make something, armor- no, armor’s no good. We need-” Tony paused, as if looking for the right word and promptly fell over. Pepper gave a relieved sigh as Steve caught him and Tony came instantly back to himself. He pushed Steve off only to waver again and finally accept the hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry," Tony chuckled breathlessly, "haven't slept in-"

"A week," Pepper muttered.

_It’s not as if it’s fun_

__

"Stark-” Steve shook his head, “Tony, you need to go to sleep." Steve said in the firmest voice he could manage.

"I'm fine," Tony said, wobbling. He crashed into Steve again and didn't waste time trying to right himself. He slumped against Steve  reminding him horribly of Bucky coming home drunk, mumbling about how he didn't even like that girl, he just wanted Steve. "I'm sorry," Tony slurred against his chest.

"It's okay," Steve said, lifting him up into his arms and carrying him to the elevator. "It's fine, Tony, don't apologize. Just get some sleep."

_At least not anymore_

"I shoulda been there."

"It would have been bad either way, Tony. You couldn't have changed that:"

"I should have," he insisted, "couldn't though... Blew up my suits... It was Christmas..."

Steve glanced at Pepper who shrugged like that was just a thing people said. Tony kept talking. "Big man in a suit of armor, you said. Take it off and what am I? It’s off, Cap, what am I?”

“You’re kind of short,” Steve said helplessly.

Tony laughed too loudly and got immediately, painfully quiet, like he’d blown a fuse. “Armor's no good though,” he said, “Gotta have a me- a person in it, people die, people go crazy, people have to sleep, gotta do better than people. Better than me, anyway."

_When your legs are black and blue_

"Okay, Tony," Steve said not wanting to argue. Tony was quiet for a minute then spoke in a very small voice.

"You were friends with my Dad, weren't you, Cap?"

"I knew him, yeah," Steve said. He wouldn't exactly call Howard a friend.

"Y'ever think that... If you hadn't crashed that plane... I'd've met you when I was a kid?"

Steve had honestly never thought about it. "I guess," he said. He never thought of Tony as a child. He just sprang fully formed from the Iron Man suit with Howard Starks face and a fifth of bourbon in his hand. Tony seemed very small now, half dozing in Steve’s arms.

_It’s time to take a break_

“You’d’ve been Uncle Steve,” Tony said quietly, “Like Uncle Obbie… he tried to kill me, y’know? Uncle Obbie.”

“I heard about that, yeah.” There was a video someone took from far away, that Steve looked up after Fury told him about Howard’s kid being a superhero. He hadn’t realized the guy in the other suit, Obediah Stane, was also “Uncle Obbie.”

“Thought he was my friend. He was my friend ‘till he tried to kill me. That’s why I should’ve been in DC, because I know how much it sucks when your friend tries to kill you,” he paused, shuddering. You wouldn’t try to kill me, would you, Cap?”

_When your legs are black and blue_

__

Pepper pressed a key code and the door of Tony’s room clicked open. Steve laid Tony down on the bed as gently as he could. “No, Buddy, I wouldn’t try and kill you. Get some sleep now, okay?”

Tony didn’t answer, just turned over to smash his face into the pillow. Pepper clicked off the lights.

  
it’s time to take a holiday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggsssssssssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttt! The ANGST-Vengers: Earth's ANGST-iest Heroes!
> 
> This is basically my head canon for Tony's motivations in Age of Ultron. He feels bad that he can't save the world/his friends all the time and that he has human weaknesses. So he creates something that doesn't have human weaknesses. And it backfires spectacularly. Oh Tony. My sweet drunk, guilt riddened 40 year old baby. Go to bed.


	4. Kid in The Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's memories invade the present day.

_Kid in the snow_

_“Bucky, it’s snowing!”_

__

_“Stevie- don’t! You’re gonna get pneumonia again!”_

__

But he was already gone, rushing through the streets, laughing out of sight. Except he was older as suddenly as he turned, hunched and harried by the blizzard around him. And the streets were different...blinking back and forth between 1933 and 2015 so he couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.

_where’d you go?_

The man of 2015 turned and squinted at him through the falling snow. He didn’t speak but The Soldier heard his words anyway, echoing through the decades.

_“C’mon, Bucky, I ain’t had pneumonia since last year.”_

__

_“Last year was five minutes ago, Dummy!”_

__

It felt, so long ago, and somehow it was still happening. Steve still stood in the snow outside their tenement like an idiot, calling for Bucky. Except he hadn’t been Bucky for years. He remembered Bucky’s words, his feelings, his world but… they weren’t his anymore. They belonged in the past, with another boy waiting for his friend to come in from the cold.

_“We missed it?”_ Steve said in 1933 while Steve in 2015 just said his name. Bucky and the soldier shrugged.

_it only happens once a year_

Steve in 2015 moved carefully, like he was afraid of startling him. Steve in 1933 rushed forward, stopping just shy of smacking him in the face. Neither Bucky could move.

_it only happens once a lifetime_

_make the most of it!_

Then Steve kissed him. A quick, impulsive peck in 1933 and desperate, clinging embrace in 2015, like if he just held Bucky tight enough, they’d never be separated again.

“Bucky,” Steve said.

_“For New Year’s,” he wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist and smiled nervously at Bucky._

“God, Bucky, please say something,” he whispered into the soldier’s neck, fingers clenching in his dirty brown hair. “Please, after everything today, I need- please say something.”

_Second just to being born_

__

“Steve,” Bucky said.  

_Second to dying too_

__

Steve kissed him again.

_What else would you do?_

They stood in the snow, in each other’s arms, for hours or minutes. Time never worked right in his head anymore.

_What else would you do?_

__

They stood until Steve looped his arm around Bucky’s shoulder and lead him inside the hotel where their building once stood, mumbling about how Bucky needed something to eat. Bucky went.

_What else would you do?_

__

Steve didn’t let go even when they reached in his room. He kept his arm around Bucky’s waist as he called for food from the front desk. He kept his knee pushed against Bucky’s as he checked for any injuries or infestations. He kept saying it would be alright. Bucky believed him.

_What else would you do?_

__

Steve watched him eat, watched him bathe. He offered, half heartedly, to give Bucky some privacy for his ablutions. His voice shook when he offered. Bucky refused and Steve’s shoulders relaxed.

_Fox in the snow_

__

They fell asleep in turns, staring at each other until they couldn’t keep their eyes open any more. Bucky woke panicked and instantly soothed by Steve’s weight against him. Outside, the snow fell over Brooklyn.

_Fox in the snow_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Ending ish? For Steve and Bucky anyway.
> 
> Please review.

**Author's Note:**

> Angst angst angst angst ha ha ha


End file.
